after a year....

....of not writing, I've moved to a new blog for a fresh start. If you're interested in following along, please visit my new work in progress at http://echoesofnow.blogspot.com/

right now...

...my heart is too full for words. Aslan is on the move, as Annie firmly stated to me this morning...and He is. Though there have been many hard things the past few weeks, the beautiful moments out weigh the bad.

Some of the beautiful moments that are outweighing the bad? Well....:

• Cooking a huge vat of chili for a beautiful little boy's birthday party.
• Cornbread....Well, what else do you expect a southern woman to cook for a lot of people, but chili and loads of cornbread? Unless, of course, I was home in South Carolina, then it would be chicken bog all the way. Not sure that my wonderful Colorado family would quite appreciate this low country fare...
• Chocolate cupcakes. The party's kinda taking over my week:-) It's splendiferous! 
• Having a beautiful little curly headed girl gaze up at me and say, "Pops is bringing me popcorn on Saturday. Are youuuuu excited???!!!" Yes, sweet girl, how could I be otherwise when you look at me that way? 
• Charlie. That's it. Just Charlie. 
• Canadian geese who glide through an achingly beautiful sunset.
• The fact that I'm getting on a horse tomorrow. Yes. 
• My Jesus and how, no matter what's happening, there is no possible way that I cannot see the beauty all around me when I'm looking through His eyes. I'm quite smitten with Him:-) 

And He alone is the good in every day.

I...

...love this picture!!!

Imagine what life would be like if we could see each other's souls instead of what's on the outside?

P.S. I get my amazing little brother for the whole entire weekend! Words cannot capture how utterly excited I am about this! And on top of that, my darling kindred friend (Lou) is riding with me to get him. I am so blessed:-) *happy sigh...*

P.S.S I am now the very delighted owner of a pair of new "Robin Hood boots" or "Maid Marion" may be more appropriate seeing how I'm a she and all. I also now own a beautiful pair of ballet flats that look like they should be for a princess...*happy sigh again*

P.S.S.S How about our Jesus, isn't He amazing?! I couldn't agree more...:-)

Narnia, ordinary, small things, flannel shirts, and purple.

Sitting here in my little room, knowing that outside the world is once again being transformed into Narnia, having "Your Heart" pumping through my earphones, and thinking about what the future holds....life is good:-) Does it get better than this? I'm sure it must, for each year becomes sweeter and sweeter with Him, but when you're not to the next year yet, it's hard to imagine it becoming more wonderful than what I have in this moment. There are so many amazing and wonderful things in my life! Many of them are simple, ordinary, everyday sorts of things, but that's what I find the most beauty and comfort in anyway, so I love how beautifully ordinary they are. After all, the wardrobe looked quite ordinary to Lucy, yet within it she found all that was extraordinary...and come to think of it, isn't that just like this life we're living? If I can't see or find all the beauty that He means for me to see in the small, ordinary things He gives, how can I expect to find and appreciate any otherworldly adventure in the great things that come along? I don't suppose those great and mighty things will come along at all until I cherish all the small things I have now.

Tell me, how do you feel about snow laden rambles late at night? The only thing stopping me from such a lovely ramble right this very moment, is the fact that though I've now resided in this snowy state for three years, I do not own a pair of snow boots suitable for such rambling about. This is the sad, sad truth. However, I plan on being the proud owner of said snow rambling boots very, very soon. I hope. Perhaps some lovely purple snow boots? I love purple, in case you didn't know by now. Still want those ballet flats in purple...

Speaking of purple, I am seriously lacking in the flannel shirt department. Which doesn't really have anything to do with purple, but since I was speaking of it I thought I'd just throw that out there too! Unless I can find a purple flannel shirt, then it would have everything to do with it. Ha! But, seriously, don't you think flannel shirts (when they're cute and tasteful) are the coziest choice for snowy days? I do! Which is why I need to go find some...like tomorrow. And those snow boots too...

I hope you have a beautiful night with Him, even if your world is not being transformed into Narnia;-)

remind me what it's about.

"God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life that I may burn for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life but a full one like You, Lord Jesus."  -Jim Elliot

The Lord placed this quote in the center of my journey to Windsor a couple years ago. It continues to amaze me how He consistently brings it back time and time again when I'm least expecting it. Tonight, I was not expecting it. Walking into our beautiful little chapel this evening, where He has changed me so much over the last two years, I came face to face with the words again and was once again broken. I need to be reminded every single day that I draw in breath of the reason He brought me on such a journey and placed me where He did. It was not so I could work for an amazing ministry and one of the most incredible couples I know (thought what an amazing bonus that's been!) it was so He could truly get a hold of my life, throw out the old me, break me, and hold me close all in preparation for...well, whatever it is that's coming in the future. It doesn't really matter what the future holds as long as I'm walking it with Him, as long as He's receiving the glory due His name, that's all that matters. I say, "Take my life and let it be, consecrated Lord to Thee!" If this means I'm called to be a Gladys Aylward, called to live the rest of my days rescuing beautiful children alone, if this means I'm to live a short life, but one that blazes out with the glory of God, if this means I'm to marry a man I'll have to let go for the glory of His Kingdom like Elisabeth Elliot, whatever it may be, all I want, all I desire is that He would "light these idle sticks of my life that I may burn for Thee."

Yet, I look at who I am, what my life has been in the past and the mistakes I've made and I tend to lose sight of how there's any possible way He can use me. How can He possibly light the sticks of a life that is soaked in water that would prevent any spark from catching ablaze at all? Then, I hear songs like this one http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KWDDL7NX which I've been listening to non-stop the last two days, and I remember that one, very important fact: "This is not about me and who I hope to be. At the end of the day I want to hear people say that my heart looks like Your heart. When the world looks at me, I pray all they see is my heart looks like Your heart." This song is suppose to be the voice of David. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, about his story and how he crashed and burned in some of the worst ways, yet the Lord still called him a man after His own heart. This gives me a lot of hope for my life. That though I've crashed and burned too, if I follow David's example and walk in another way, constantly seeking the face of my God even when I fall, He'll be able to light a fire to this water logged life and make it blaze for His glory.

longer post...

...coming after this day is over and many adventures are had with two precious kiddos whom I love more than life and two beautiful women who are dearer than I can express. Be expectant for very, very grand adventures. For now, I'll leave you with this:

“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”        - Jim Elliot 

This is just what I plan on doing this beautiful winter day....Have a beautiful day with Him, my friend!

one.

“To wait is not merely to remain impassive. It is to expect—to look for with patience, and also with submission. It is to long for, but not impatiently; to look for, but not to fret at the delay; to watch for, but not restlessly; to feel that if He does not come we will acquiesce, and yet to refuse to let the mind acquiesce in the feeling that He will not come.”  -Andrew Davidson

I came across this quote today and it definitely knocked the breath out of me, for it captured all that's in my heart within this one paragraph. There are so many things I feel like I'm waiting on in this season. Some things I'm longing to begin and others I'm longing would end. Yet, I've learned that waiting is such a gift from Him, no matter what it is I'm waiting for. I've gone through too many waiting seasons to not recognize when I'm in the midst of another one...though, at times the recognizing does not make it any easier. Tonight, it does not make it any easier, but despite it all, He is so good to make me wait. Even though there are times when I want to scream, "Why must I wait so long?! Why can't my prayers be answered now?!" Yes, even in those times, when I've gotten over my moment of dramatics, I can feel Him firmly wrap His arms around me and whisper, " Am I not enough? Is there anyone else that can comfort you like I can? Will you not give me all of your heart and hold nothing back so that I may give you all that I desire for your life?" My answer is yes. It's always yes, but I need Him to ask me over and over so that my heart is reminded of what I'm waiting for and I can answer over and over and over, "Yes. Yes. Yes." And He is so good. I cannot express how wonderful He is and when we're alone, my soul truly knows that for the rest of my life, I want nothing but to pursue Him with all the strength I have.

It's a fight, this pursuit of my God. There are many enemies who would stop me, knock me down, and ultimately kill me...but, you know what? Every single step I take, every inch I gain, every mile I run towards Him is worth it. I can think of nothing else in this life worth pursuing with all that I have in me, for I get only one chance at this. I'm allowed one shot to make this life count, because I'm definitely not planning on walking this way again, and I must know that it made a difference even in the smallest of ways. If I try and try to rescue many children and succeed in rescuing only one child, if I try and try to tell many people about this God who loved them so much He died for them and only one person hears me, if I try and try to share the joy of Jesus with all those around me and only one soul discovers it, if I try and try and try for all that I can accomplish for the Kingdom of Heaven and because of this I am poured out, used up, spent, and broken, then it will all have been worth it. Each one. Each one. For it does not have to be many...I am not many, yet my God would have died to save me if I had been the only one on this earth.

This is what I'm clinging to with all my heart. Though I may wait on many things, to end or begin it doesn't really matter, I will do it with longing and joy in my soul. For if I pray and pray and pray and if none of these things is accomplished in my life time for His Kingdom and the glory of His name, it will have been worth it. Yes, though even one is worth it, the spending of our lives if we never see the fruit is worth it all. For God never wastes anything, and every second spent pursuing Him, no matter what I see accomplished, is worth it.