Ellerslie Mission Society presents...

This is the newest short film produced by Ellerslie Mission Society, which I have the privilege to work for and be a part of. This is the heart of God. Please watch this prayerfully and be willing to open your heart to feel His heart, His anguish, His love. Then, ask yourself, what is it He would desire you to do?

http://ellerslie.com/Depraved_Indifference.html

Just Imagine...

Today was a sweat shirt, jeans, and hot coffee kind of day. The kind of day when one just wants to hole up and enjoy being alone. A day to recharge and breath, loving the winter sky and the cold air. Today was the kind of day when one wishes that the sky might just send down merry little snow flakes and then, when they do not come, it was the kind of day to be disappointed in no snow. Today was a Schumann and Mozart sort of day, a Milo and Otis childhood day, when being content comes very easy. This day begged for one to take a nice, long, dreamy sort of nap, the kind of nap where you wake up slowly and just enjoy laying under a down comforter.

Then, evening came creeping in while the down comforter still held its hostage. Said hostage finally drug herself up and the evening promptly demanded grapefruit and boiled eggs for dinner. Yes, is was that sort of evening. Delightful. Beautiful really, for nothing extraordinary happened, there was no laughing or running about, just time spent in a beautiful little room with reading, music, simple food, and the complete ordinariness of being alone. It was perfect.

Something has to be said for not being lonely or unhappy when you are alone with just yourself. I cannot imagine not wanting to be alone, for though I love being with people, I've found that I require time completely alone to recharge something in me. I love to talk with people, especially one on one, however, I love not talking and just being still and thinking all by myself. I'm not sure I know the meaning of the word "bored" for even when I was a little girl, I always found that I could retreat to my thoughts and imagine all sorts of wonderful and delightful things, even in the midst of some situation that would have otherwise been boring. My imagination has had some very good practice over the years because of this. It is, in my humble opinion, quite important to keep one's imagination in good working order, especially after one has left childhood behind. So often, grown ups let their imagination fall into complete ruin after a certain age. Why? I can't imagine not using mine for so long that it ceases to work all together. What are grown ups thinking?! Oh, well, I suppose that's the problem, they're not thinking at all.

Just imagine, imagine when you were a little boy or girl, what sparked your imagination to life? Were you a pirate on some high seas adventure? Or perhaps you were a princess, locked away in a tall tower, completely confident that your knight was on his way to rescue you. My tower was a very tall magnolia tree that was absolutely made to be climbed. Oh, the places and things that magnolia tree became in my world. It served as a tall tower where I was locked away by an evil sorcerer one day and became a beautiful castle, reaching to the sky the next. Grand balls and delicious feasts were held underneath it's shiny leaves and many hours were spent just thinking and surveying the lay of the land from the upmost top of its branches.

Then, of course, there was the fig tree. Yes, I said a fig tree. A beautiful little tree who's branches went all the way to the ground and who's leaves were big enough to block all view from the outside. The inside was a perfect "house" for the branches only went up and out so it seemed to be hollow and truly like a tree house. Many hours were passed inside this little haven, pretending that it was a quaint cottage in England or Ireland, lived in by a girl who loved to "cook" delicious meals and tend to her flower garden. Of course, it always was under the shadow and protection of the grand Magnolia Castle just across the way. There was a "stable" comprised of a little grape arbor just next door, and beautiful arabian horses filled its gates. This was the stuff of dreams and wonder, this was my imagination brought to life. Where each day held one new adventure after another, either played by a beautiful princess or a simple girl who lived in a magical little cottage.

Can you picture it? Can you see, smell, or hear what brought your imagination to life? Can you return to that enchanted place of wonder, where anything was possible, and reality was made of whatever you wanted it to be? Why do we want to live in a world where we cannot return and visit now and then? Yes, we are grown ups, we have to be responsible and realistic...but, there are times that call for the realistic to be cast aside and your imagination allowed to soar. There are times when believing in fairies, dragons, gnomes, and unicorns are essential to living in this responsible and realistic world we are called to live in. If we do not know how to revisit and believe in all we once did, then something in us dies and it is a devastating death, for we hardly even comprehend the enormity of what we've lost. Don't let it die. Tonight or today, whenever you happen to be reading this, revisit that place you once knew. Sit and be still and allow your imagination to soar. Oh, what an incredible, wonderful adventure you're in store for if you do...

Two Choices

Oh, I want to be in the place I once knew as a child. I want to rest in Him with all the trust and assurance that I possessed in those beautiful and simple days. Why must I complicate it when it's really the most simple thing in the world? He is beautiful, so very beautiful and I am ugly. Yet, He loves me still. This is truly wonderful, too wonderful for my mind to grasp. As surely as if I'd been the one to hammer the nails into His precious hands, my work, my flesh, everything in me hung Him on that cross. Yet, willingly He hung there. He only had two choices. He could avoid or even come down from the cross and escape the torment, but it would be a life without me. Or He could be tortured and tormented, bear the anguish of all my sin, and die, but this would provide me the choice of living forever with Him. He chose me. He chose me knowing that I could choose to not be with Him. He chose to die rather than to imagine living without me while knowing full well that if I did not choose Him, His sacrifice would be for nothing. He went through it all anyway, because He loves me that much. He loves you that much. For though He gives all of Himself to me, He does the same for you as well and when He hung on that cross, He was thinking of you. He did it all for you as if you were the only person in this whole world.

I know all of this. Yet, there are times I still doubt. Even though I know all of this, I still have the audacity to still doubt! Why?! What is wrong with me? I am human and my flesh would rule me if I let it. It would tell me that there is no way a God, a man, would do all this for me. Yet, I am made in His image and He that is in me holds my heart and assures me that, yes, as God, as man, He did all of this and would do it all again to give me that choice. To give you the choice. It is the most beautiful, incredible, astounding thing to think about. It is not complicated. It is quite simple. He had two choices and so do I. For He was a prince, He gave up His throne and came down to save this lowly woman, to fight His greatest foe, who was holding me hostage, with all that was in Him. He fought and He died, all because of this great love that He has for me. It is a fairy tale, the most romantic of stories, and it is mine alone. Yet, the beauty, the most glorious and wonderful thought is that it is all yours alone as well.

So, whom do you choose? I choose life abundant with Him. I choose to live a life that is hard, that requires I die to my flesh that I may live to know all the riches and glories of being in His presence, that asks me to lay down all I would hold dear that He may replace it with things far more wonderful than I can ever imagine. I choose to be His and His alone because I love Him above all others. I choose to live with Him because I have found that it is in being with Him that I have found the most incredible joy and happiness. I choose to live with Him, because living without Him is not living at all. Living without Him would be a mere shadow of a life that can only be found to the fullest in Him. I choose my Jesus, my prince.

Whom do you choose?

Do you have any?

The mountains in the distance are so clearly beautiful today. It's been snowing way up there and their peaks have been bathed in stark white snow. They seem to be glowing today as the sun blazes down upon them. I love days like this. Days that are ordinary. Days that require dragging myself out of the bed, working a bit, then heading off to the kiddos. As I write this, two little faces, pudgy with food, are staring back at me with the expectancy of another bite.

Today is just lovely in its simplicity. There are clouds blowing in from the east and the promise of a lovely, gray winter day is in the air. To the west, the sun continues to smile down on those beautiful mountain peaks. Dinner is in the refrigerator marinating and the rice is made to go along with it. Chicken satay with coconut rice anyone? That's what is being served around here for dinner tonight. Wonderful music is pouring from my speakers and I'm sitting in the perfect spot to see the east and west and the two days clashing together.

Can you believe Thanksgiving is just around the corner? How did that happen? I think we jumped from 2009 to 2011, because 2010 can not be almost over. I love Thanksgiving! Next to Christmas, it's my favorite holiday, although this year I'm torn with wanting to stay with the choir kids and going home. However, my family won out since I haven't seen them all that much the last few months and I'll have time to spend with the kids when I get back. So, I'm headed to my parents next Tuesday/Wednesday fully prepared to be stuffed over the ensuing days to follow. My Dad makes the best turkey, hands down, better than anyone I've ever known. That turkey is incredible! Then, there will be two different kinds of cranberry salad, garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and a whole host of other delightful creations that my parents come up with each year. They are deadly together in the kitchen. This year is special, however, because they just moved into a new house with a beautiful mountain river literally in their back yard. You should be jealous. It's going to be wonderful!

Whoever you are reading this, do you have any Thanksgiving traditions or something you love about Thanksgiving? I'd love to know if you do! Do you have any fun recipes to share? I'm making dessert this year (which I normally do) and I'd love some new recipes if anyone has any they'd like to share. I hope you, yes you reading this, have a beautifully blessed day today, overflowing with the love of our precious Jesus!

Changed

The first snow of winter arrived in all its glory early last week. The world was transformed. All the colors were washed away, yet replaced by a colorlessness that was beautiful in its nonexistent colors. I love the grays, whites, and browns that replace the vibrance of fall. In their own way, they seem to be just as stunning as the glowing yellows, orange, and reds of autumn's glory. And what glorious sunsets we have in the winter here. There is something about a winter's sunset, when the snow joyously reaches out its arms to embrace the colors of the leaving sun, reflecting with all its might all that it can back to the heavens. It's almost as if there is a double sunset, as if the snow and all its surroundings are the sunset as well. It is obvious how much our God must adore colors when you see the stunning strokes from His paint brush, blazing across the sky. With each sunset I witness, I can't help but wonder if He saw me thousands of years ago, standing there staring at that particular sunset. Did He paint it just for me? It seems to be a love letter from Him, for I know He knew I would be there staring at those hues, thinking of Him.

The choir kids arrived from Haiti on Monday. Thirteen precious, stunningly beautiful children that have completely stolen my heart. When I look at them I see royalty, treasured by my Father above all others.When I look at them, I see my own children in the future. For they are the least of these and their lives are a blazing witness of the faithfulness and love of my precious Jesus. For the first time in my life, the ache that I have carried for Haiti for so long, the anguish I've felt has taken on the faces of thirteen incredible kids and I am honored to have them in my life. I am honored to have the opportunity to know them, to learn their names, what their favorite colors are, what they want to be when they grow up, and to listen to their sweet prayers. What music it must be to His ears to hear the prayers that they pray. I am moved beyond words and I can't understand a word they're saying because it's all in Creole. However, I know that I desire to pray with such deep emotion, with such adoration, and purity. Oh, how I long to have the faith of a child, to be like these sweet kids. I would learn to never waiver in trusting that if my God said it, it will happen. For, as Eric so often says, God cannot lie. If He cannot lie, then all that He has promised, all that He has said, He will accomplish and fulfill far more than I can ever dream.

Yes, my life has once again changed. Something has happened and I will never again be the same. Before Monday, I had ached and cried for the injustice I knew was happening to so many precious and innocent children. Before Monday, I had anguished for the horrors I read about, sex trafficking, child slaves, children starving, children unloved, children used and then left on the side of the road. My soul was anguished over these things, but, God forgive me, they were not real. They did not have a face, a name, a personality and my soul was not reckoning the humanness, the sheer, beautiful, ordinary, and extraordinary children that I was anguished for. I know now. I know the faces, the names of only a handful and for the first time, all the others are becoming truly real. And now that I have seen, I am responsible. Now that I have held them, I am responsible, and I would give my life for just one of them. Not to save them only from the horrors, but I would give my life that just one of them would come to know the incredible love of their Savior. For He is the only hope in this life, through all the pain and suffering.

My life has forever changed. This is what I would and will give my life to. I would have given it before if He has asked it of me, but now I beg that He would ask! I beg that He would require all of me to give to all of them. For am I not His hands and feet? If I claim to be a Christian, I am just that and this will require my life. Oh, what a beautiful, incredible life it will be...

To be a stone

Rolling River God

Little Stones are smooth

Only once the water passes through

So I am a stone

rough and grainy still

Trying to reconcile this river's chill

CHORUS:

But when I close my eyes

and feel you rushing by

I know that time brings change

and change takes time

And when the sunset comes

my prayer would be just this one

that you might pick me up

and notice that I am

just a little smoother in your hand

Sometimes raging wild

sometimes swollen high

never have I known this river dry

The deepest part of you

is where I want to stay

and feel the sharpest edges wash away

CHORUS

This song has been like a balm on my soul and in my life the last couple weeks. It has been on repeat and I'm sure I've listened to it over 100 times. There is something so majestic about the visual that comes to mind through these lyrics. To be so lost in my God, hidden in the deepest part of His being, until He has smoothed out all the jagged and rough edges of who I am, is so beautiful to my soul. My heart beats and aches to be like this. To be the smallest stone, the tiniest pebble, but the one worn and polished by His waters until, when He reaches out to choose a stone to use, it is I that He picks up. It is I that is released from His hand with the perfect precision and accuracy. The precision and accuracy that blazes out and like a sure shot, accomplishes that which I am to accomplish for His glory.

This will not happen without time. Though He is not bound by the time of this world, He uses the time I am bound to and in His heavenly time, He creates the smoothest of edges. Ah, but the waiting it takes for this to happen. So often, I've found myself begging the Lord to allow me to become, or do, or go, when I want it to happen. "Today, Father! Let it be/happen today!" I find this is the cry of my heart so very often. Yet, in His patience and love, He has and is asking me to wait for certain things, until it is His perfect timing. When I look back over past waiting seasons in my life, when I can see what the end results are and now that it has ended, what was accomplished, I am always so thankful for the waiting. Looking back, all the waiting was so worth it and now that those periods of waiting are over, I can clearly see what a gift they were. I can see how, though I may have felt worn down by rushing waters, or that I was stuck at the bottom of the river with the water rushing over and above me, it was at these times I was being worn smooth, to shine with His brilliance. For I have nothing of light in me if He is not there and what a witness it is of who He is, when others see a reflection of Jesus in the worn and shining pebbles that we are and can be. To be the one willing to be worn, to be the one who cries out for God to smooth the sharpest edges away, this is painful. Oh, but the beauty to be allowed to close my eyes and feel the great river rushing around me, to know that I am lost in Him becoming what I was made to be, this is worth everything. For I do not want to be an ugly little stone, worthless with jagged edges, I want to be His smooth stone, held in the mighty right hand of my precious and beautiful God. Take me, Father, and make me smooth in all that you are so that giants fall when you send me forth from Your sling.

"He took his stick in his hand and chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in the shepherd's bag which he had, even in his pouch, and his sling was in his hand; and he approached the Philistine...And David put his hand into his bag and took from it a stone and slung it, and struck the Philistine on his forehead. And the stone sank into his forehead, so that he fell on his face to the ground."

1 Samuel 17:40,49

Our Nov/Dec. issue of the magazine is up everyone! Annie has done a fantastic job with the design, I am so proud of her! Every issue gets better and better. Our God is so faithful to pour into us what we need to do what He has called us to do. Hope you enjoy the reading:-)

http://www.setapartgirl.com\