Resolved

There are times, times when I know that He loves me. Then there are times when I know that He loves me. What is the difference? Well, I know His love at all times, I know I could not walk a single step, take a single breath, live a single moment, without the knowledge of this love. Then there are those times when His love comes crashing down into my soul and my world, for a moment, stops. It stops and every step, every breath, every second passing by is completely flooded with a love that is incomprehensible. It is a love that is so beautiful it hurts, for it holds every emotion I feel in the purest of forms.

What causes the crash? What produces the flood? Maybe it is a gentle autumn wind, blowing just right through the golden leaves of surrounding trees, maybe it's a sunset or sunrise in all their glory, maybe it's a shooting star that blazes for a split second across the sky, or perhaps it is nothing other than a firmness in my soul. What sweetness it is to have the ordinary produce the extraordinary.

Is that not how He works? He will do anything to get my attention, to have me lift my eyes to Him and know that He loves me. He longs to know me more than anything else on this earth and He woes my heart and soul to Him with each moment that my heart beats. So, how can I not love Him with all that I have in me? How can I not spend every moment with Him that I possibly can? Yet, this is exactly what I do not do. I resolve to set an unbreakable amount of time with Him and then I break it. I don't show up to the time we've decided to spend together. If I did this to anyone else over and over, they would soon grow tired of my flippancy and end the relationship. He doesn't. He waits for me, even when I'm not there. He calls to me, even when I do not answer, He loves me even when I do not deserve it in the slightest measure. This is incomprehensible.

And so I am resolved. Resolved to love without holding back, resolved to not break a sacred time that is meant only for Him, resolved to worship and adore Him with all that I have in me. I am resolved that this life of mine should never be about me, I am resolved that it will be all and only about He who saved me from all that I deserved to suffer because He chose to die rather than to live without me. I am resolved to declare that I will never walk this life alone because I have a champion, a knight, a prince that walks beside me and protects me. You see, I am His even when I do not act like it. All of this I am resolved to do.

I would have others witness my life and not see or think of me, but I would have them see and think of Him. This is all that I want for my life, this is all that I desire. For it is all about You Jesus, all this is for You, for Your glory and Your fame.

And so my world that was paused for a moment begins to spin again, but it will never be the same. It never is when a wave of His love sweeps down, reminding me that this is what my life is about, this love.