for you, sweet girl.

And it comes. It comes like an arrow to your heart and for a space of time, you feel like you cannot breath. It comes and you know just as sure as the sun will come up tomorrow, that from this moment forward, your whole world will never again be the same. Oh, perhaps things will turn out beautiful in the end, but nothing will ever be the same, no matter the outcome. For it is all around you and in you and you feel it changing you. Helplessly you watch the change, for no matter what you do, no matter how loud and long you scream, no matter if you sob or let the tears quietly fall, you are helpless to stop any of it.

For, no matter who we are, no matter how "good" or beautiful or seemingly perfect we are, it still comes. In one way or another, it will touch our lives, just for the simple fact that we live in a world that is waining. A world that is crumbling from the inside out and in the end will fall. So, it touches us. It sees no difference between one person and the next. It just, simply comes.

And we scream that it is unfair, that she did nothing to deserve this. I look at her and I think of how she is so sweet, so good, and how I would be like her. I look into the depths of my own heart and see the glaring reality of the ugliness lying in wait there. And I scream, she did nothing to deserve this! I look at my God and I question, why?! I know that He has everything in the palm of His hands, but why?!

And with eyes streaming tears, my beautiful, loving, perfect Creator, looks back into mine and gently whispers, "She is mine. She is my beloved. Do you question that I love her more than you can ever imagine? I formed her in her mother's womb, I brought her beautiful life into being. For, I have a purpose for this life of hers and because she has chosen to be mine fully, I will use every touch of the enemy to bring glory to Me. No matter the end result, she is Mine. Be still, beloved, and know that I am that I am. I will work miracles before your eyes that even you cannot comprehend." 


Yes. This is a truth my heart knows well, that though I may have moments when I question, I know that I know that I know, He is faithful. And I am brought to a stillness before He who knows her and I more than we can ever know ourselves. Who has a plan for our lives and loves us more than even I can fathom.

And so, beautiful girl, you are a witness to me, far more than you'll ever be able to understand. Though I trust that in the end, things will work out just the way they should, your strong and quiet faith in the midst of the storm is enough to show me how small mine is in comparison. He is already using this in my life to press me into Him, so even now, the journey you face is already worth it. I love you and I miss you far more than words can express.