Today is an English and hot coffee sort of day. I love these beautiful, gray, cold, let me wrap up or snuggle down in a blanket kind of day. The sun has been trying to conquer the grayness that has taken a hold of the afternoon, yet it is decidedly not winning. As I sit here, three sweet kiddos are sleeping sweetly and one is being a complete gentleman, playing quietly alone. Often, when I'm with these precious, beautiful children, I truly glimpse what motherhood will be like. Oh, how beautiful, hard, joyful, exhausting, and utterly delightful it will be! There are times that I ache to rescue and bring home those that He will see fit to put in my life, yet I treasure this time of being alone, of allowing Him to work in my heart and life preparing me to be the kind of mother He would desire me to be. I am truly blessed, for each day is like a lesson in free, Godly parenting classes! Oh, that I would take it all in, truly learning and gleaning from the wisdom He willingly offers through those around me. He is gently yet firmly teaching me that my future as a wife and mother will be so much richer if I do not wish away this time of being single, of waiting on the best He has planned for my life.
I know there are many girls and women who read my blog, who are single (or perhaps married and wishing for children) and perhaps, struggling with the fact that they are. Oh, that you would know the utter beauty and love that your God is allowing such a time in your life! Do not think for a moment that just because the Lord has not brought that Godly man (or sweet kiddos) into your life yet, it doesn't mean you are not to use the time He has given you now to prepare for him/them. And what better way to love your future husband then by wrestling for him in prayer and pressing into your God more and more each day. Until we find complete and utter fulfillment in Jesus Christ and Him alone, we are not ready to move on from being single. For we will never be fulfilled by another human, but oh, the utter joy of trusting in Jesus with the complete confidence that He will never let us down or hurt us in any way. To love Him completely is to completely love whomever He has seen fit to one day bring into our lives.
There is a poem that a dear friend sent me, that utterly captures this time in my life and truly inspires me to treasure each precious moment of being single and waiting on the man that He has chosen. The man that is worth all of this precious time of preparing, who will love his God more than me and because of this know how to truly love me.
If I would never know the depths of my God's love because of impatience, because of wanting what I want when I want it, then may I never have anything "I want" but, may I wait forever, continually falling more and more in love with my Jesus. Being a wife, being a mother, none of it is worth it if I rush head long into them without fully knowing He who holds my heart.