Sunday, September 19, 2010

Mornings, Evenings, and Waiting...

This morning, I groggily drug myself out of bed, putting my hand up to the window and pulling down the blinds to see what kind of day was going to greet me. There are some mornings that make me want to go directly back to bed and pull the covers firmly over my head, however, this morning was different. This morning, was a delicious, hauntingly beautiful, true "english morning", as Annie and I call them. Suddenly, I was wide awake as I flew across the hall to Annie's room, knocking on her door and excitedly telling her to look out at this beautiful morning. Later, as I rode Lucy through the misty air, I wondered what could be more enchanting or magical...perhaps, actually being in England on a morning like this might compare;-) Or being on the seaside riding on such a morning, for as wonderful as it was this morning, there is nothing that compares to a salty, foggy morning by the ocean.

Then, for a few beautiful moments, the sun was so hidden behind the dense fog, no rays seemed to break through. All that could be seen was a silver ball floating in the sky. However, none of it lasted long, for fall has not officially taken hold of our days yet. Before I knew it, the sun was burning down and the temperature was soaring as if the cool, misty morning had never been. While it lasted, it was enchanting. It is on mornings like this morning, that I am torn on which I'm more in love with, the morning or the evening. Seeing as evening has yet to come to this day, I'm not sure it can compete with this particular morning. I have experienced many evenings that far surpass many mornings, maybe because I seem to be more alert for them:-) Truly, a crystal clear evening, lit with the retreating sun's light and stained with hues of lavender, pink, and dusky blue is a hard beauty to compare any other part of the day with. Perhaps, here and there, the stars will timidly come twinkling and laughing to meet the rising moon. There is something mysteriously stunning about that in between time of the day, as the moon and sun seem to brush shadows in their coming and going.

Since beginning this blog, I have slowly written into the evening. Yes, it's taken me the whole afternoon to write all the above sentences. Between working and coming back to write here and there, it's quite a slow plan for actually finishing a blog. Sitting at Panera, it's been quite interesting to watch the people come and go as the hours have passed. Work has slowly come to a stand still and I'm now actually getting more than two sentences at a time out of my thoughts. There was an older couple who sat to my right for a short period of time and what a beautiful, maybe an hour, it was. They sat next to each other, not across the table and held hands while they waited for their food to be ready. As they ate they laughed and talked, none of which I could hear because I was wearing my earphones. I'm glad I couldn't hear what they were saying, because watching their actions were far more interesting. I saw two people who were truly enjoying each others company, who found each other genuinely funny, who would alternate between talking and laughing to comfortable silences as they enjoyed their food. As they came to the end of their meal, the older gentleman took his wife's arms and gently lifted her up, smiling at her as he did so. Hand in hand, they left the restaurant and walked back to their lives and out of mine. Strange isn't it? How, for a small moment in the space of my life, their life touched mine and it was significant. Significant enough for me to want to write about, for me to desire to have what they have, to strengthen my stand that this is what I'm waiting for and so much more. I'm not just waiting for some man to hold my hand, for some man to laugh and joke with me, I'm waiting for a man that will love his God more than he loves me, who will not want to conquer what I stand for, but who will champion all that I believe in, who will champion my heart being lost in Jesus, because he loves him just as much as I do. I'm waiting for him because I know that somewhere out there, he is doing what our God has for him to do until we meet. And until that time comes, I am more than content to let my heart remain in my Jesus' hands. For it is only in His hands that it finds true contentment and love beyond all imagining.


  1. I love you so much. And . . . I wish I could write as eloquently as you. ;)


  2. Thanks...for opening the window to your little world this morning...makes the day easier to face...the air easier to breath...and the waiting for someone a little easier to bear...but thank you mostly for giving me another clue about her...that when she comes (if she ever does) that she will champion my heart lost in Jesus....and that maybe, just maybe we'll get a little more lost together...

  3. What your words grew in the little garden of my mind....

    thanks again...