The Lord placed this quote in the center of my journey to Windsor a couple years ago. It continues to amaze me how He consistently brings it back time and time again when I'm least expecting it. Tonight, I was not expecting it. Walking into our beautiful little chapel this evening, where He has changed me so much over the last two years, I came face to face with the words again and was once again broken. I need to be reminded every single day that I draw in breath of the reason He brought me on such a journey and placed me where He did. It was not so I could work for an amazing ministry and one of the most incredible couples I know (thought what an amazing bonus that's been!) it was so He could truly get a hold of my life, throw out the old me, break me, and hold me close all in preparation for...well, whatever it is that's coming in the future. It doesn't really matter what the future holds as long as I'm walking it with Him, as long as He's receiving the glory due His name, that's all that matters. I say, "Take my life and let it be, consecrated Lord to Thee!" If this means I'm called to be a Gladys Aylward, called to live the rest of my days rescuing beautiful children alone, if this means I'm to live a short life, but one that blazes out with the glory of God, if this means I'm to marry a man I'll have to let go for the glory of His Kingdom like Elisabeth Elliot, whatever it may be, all I want, all I desire is that He would "light these idle sticks of my life that I may burn for Thee."
Yet, I look at who I am, what my life has been in the past and the mistakes I've made and I tend to lose sight of how there's any possible way He can use me. How can He possibly light the sticks of a life that is soaked in water that would prevent any spark from catching ablaze at all? Then, I hear songs like this one http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KWDDL7NX which I've been listening to non-stop the last two days, and I remember that one, very important fact: "This is not about me and who I hope to be. At the end of the day I want to hear people say that my heart looks like Your heart. When the world looks at me, I pray all they see is my heart looks like Your heart." This song is suppose to be the voice of David. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, about his story and how he crashed and burned in some of the worst ways, yet the Lord still called him a man after His own heart. This gives me a lot of hope for my life. That though I've crashed and burned too, if I follow David's example and walk in another way, constantly seeking the face of my God even when I fall, He'll be able to light a fire to this water logged life and make it blaze for His glory.