Sunday, October 30, 2011

remind me what it's about.

"God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life that I may burn for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life but a full one like You, Lord Jesus."  -Jim Elliot

The Lord placed this quote in the center of my journey to Windsor a couple years ago. It continues to amaze me how He consistently brings it back time and time again when I'm least expecting it. Tonight, I was not expecting it. Walking into our beautiful little chapel this evening, where He has changed me so much over the last two years, I came face to face with the words again and was once again broken. I need to be reminded every single day that I draw in breath of the reason He brought me on such a journey and placed me where He did. It was not so I could work for an amazing ministry and one of the most incredible couples I know (thought what an amazing bonus that's been!) it was so He could truly get a hold of my life, throw out the old me, break me, and hold me close all in preparation for...well, whatever it is that's coming in the future. It doesn't really matter what the future holds as long as I'm walking it with Him, as long as He's receiving the glory due His name, that's all that matters. I say, "Take my life and let it be, consecrated Lord to Thee!" If this means I'm called to be a Gladys Aylward, called to live the rest of my days rescuing beautiful children alone, if this means I'm to live a short life, but one that blazes out with the glory of God, if this means I'm to marry a man I'll have to let go for the glory of His Kingdom like Elisabeth Elliot, whatever it may be, all I want, all I desire is that He would "light these idle sticks of my life that I may burn for Thee."

Yet, I look at who I am, what my life has been in the past and the mistakes I've made and I tend to lose sight of how there's any possible way He can use me. How can He possibly light the sticks of a life that is soaked in water that would prevent any spark from catching ablaze at all? Then, I hear songs like this one which I've been listening to non-stop the last two days, and I remember that one, very important fact: "This is not about me and who I hope to be. At the end of the day I want to hear people say that my heart looks like Your heart. When the world looks at me, I pray all they see is my heart looks like Your heart." This song is suppose to be the voice of David. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, about his story and how he crashed and burned in some of the worst ways, yet the Lord still called him a man after His own heart. This gives me a lot of hope for my life. That though I've crashed and burned too, if I follow David's example and walk in another way, constantly seeking the face of my God even when I fall, He'll be able to light a fire to this water logged life and make it blaze for His glory.


  1. And with the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD: and he made a trench about the altar, as great as would contain two measures of seed.

    And he put the wood in order, and cut the bullock in pieces, and laid him on the wood, and said, Fill four barrels with water, and pour it on the burnt sacrifice, and on the wood.

    And he said, Do it the second time. And they did it the second time. And he said, Do it the third time. And they did it the third time.

    And the water ran round about the altar; and he filled the trench also with water.

    And it came to pass at the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that Elijah the prophet came near, and said, LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, let it be known this day that thou art God in Israel, and that I am thy servant, and that I have done all these things at thy word.

    Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that thou art the LORD God, and that thou hast turned their heart back again.

    Then the fire of the LORD fell, and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood, and the stones, and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench.

    And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces: and they said, The LORD, he is the God; the LORD, he is the God.

    [1 Kings 18:32-39]

  2. "Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
    Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
    Only one life, “twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last."
    "And Jesus looking on them said, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible." Mk 10:27 akjv
    Be encouraged, dear (online-blogosphere) friend :-) I think that often we first begin to seek God's heart we know not what we ask (Matt 20:22) but we begin to see, and those who do not shrink back from all it entails, He brings them deeper. But all along the journey are mountain-top views in which we comprehend how much farther we have to go and we realize that without God it is utterly impossible. Just when we feel it is most impossible for our lives to be used by God is when the situation is most possible. And He truly does work ALL things together for our good...not some things or most things but all things, even our detours and wrong turns and flat tires and running out of gas and accidents. :-) Thanks for sharing your heart. I always find encouragement from your posts!