Thursday, November 11, 2010


The first snow of winter arrived in all its glory early last week. The world was transformed. All the colors were washed away, yet replaced by a colorlessness that was beautiful in its nonexistent colors. I love the grays, whites, and browns that replace the vibrance of fall. In their own way, they seem to be just as stunning as the glowing yellows, orange, and reds of autumn's glory. And what glorious sunsets we have in the winter here. There is something about a winter's sunset, when the snow joyously reaches out its arms to embrace the colors of the leaving sun, reflecting with all its might all that it can back to the heavens. It's almost as if there is a double sunset, as if the snow and all its surroundings are the sunset as well. It is obvious how much our God must adore colors when you see the stunning strokes from His paint brush, blazing across the sky. With each sunset I witness, I can't help but wonder if He saw me thousands of years ago, standing there staring at that particular sunset. Did He paint it just for me? It seems to be a love letter from Him, for I know He knew I would be there staring at those hues, thinking of Him.

The choir kids arrived from Haiti on Monday. Thirteen precious, stunningly beautiful children that have completely stolen my heart. When I look at them I see royalty, treasured by my Father above all others.When I look at them, I see my own children in the future. For they are the least of these and their lives are a blazing witness of the faithfulness and love of my precious Jesus. For the first time in my life, the ache that I have carried for Haiti for so long, the anguish I've felt has taken on the faces of thirteen incredible kids and I am honored to have them in my life. I am honored to have the opportunity to know them, to learn their names, what their favorite colors are, what they want to be when they grow up, and to listen to their sweet prayers. What music it must be to His ears to hear the prayers that they pray. I am moved beyond words and I can't understand a word they're saying because it's all in Creole. However, I know that I desire to pray with such deep emotion, with such adoration, and purity. Oh, how I long to have the faith of a child, to be like these sweet kids. I would learn to never waiver in trusting that if my God said it, it will happen. For, as Eric so often says, God cannot lie. If He cannot lie, then all that He has promised, all that He has said, He will accomplish and fulfill far more than I can ever dream.

Yes, my life has once again changed. Something has happened and I will never again be the same. Before Monday, I had ached and cried for the injustice I knew was happening to so many precious and innocent children. Before Monday, I had anguished for the horrors I read about, sex trafficking, child slaves, children starving, children unloved, children used and then left on the side of the road. My soul was anguished over these things, but, God forgive me, they were not real. They did not have a face, a name, a personality and my soul was not reckoning the humanness, the sheer, beautiful, ordinary, and extraordinary children that I was anguished for. I know now. I know the faces, the names of only a handful and for the first time, all the others are becoming truly real. And now that I have seen, I am responsible. Now that I have held them, I am responsible, and I would give my life for just one of them. Not to save them only from the horrors, but I would give my life that just one of them would come to know the incredible love of their Savior. For He is the only hope in this life, through all the pain and suffering.

My life has forever changed. This is what I would and will give my life to. I would have given it before if He has asked it of me, but now I beg that He would ask! I beg that He would require all of me to give to all of them. For am I not His hands and feet? If I claim to be a Christian, I am just that and this will require my life. Oh, what a beautiful, incredible life it will be...


  1. This brought me straight to tears this morning.

    I have begged Him...screamed at heaven...that He would let me rescue these kids..I call the orphans of the world my kids, my responsibilty...He broke my heart for them...let me feel how He feels for them and I am changed forever....I cannot close my eyes....this is my life....and every word you said I have said so many times...just not so beautifully so....

    P.S. I HATE a good cry before work.....but I feel a little less alone...thank you

  2. Thank you Mark. May He grant you every desire He has placed on your heart.