longing.

Back at "my" little coffee shop this morning, in my small corner of the world. Fall is floating about our mornings now, promising that it's well on its way, but not quite wanting to leave wherever it has to come from. I'm longing for autumn to come...funny thing, I'm kind of longing for winter too. I know, I know, when you live somewhere that boasts nine months of winter, it seems to be a stupid thing to wish for. Thing is though, I enjoyed last winter so much, I really am wanting it to come. I think it's because we have more overcast days in the winter....I know I'm strange, but I really do love these days. Take today, for example. It's a perfectly beautiful, sunny day in the 60's...who wouldn't love such a day? Me. Not that I don't throughly enjoy it, because I certainly do, I'd just prefer clouds soaked in gray and heavy with rain....or a great thunder storm. I think it's a quirk that I have...

So, instead I'll sit here not wishing for what I cannot have, but enjoying what He has given instead:-) Even non-rainy days. This is a lesson He's definitely been gently teaching me lately. To be content today, not wishing for tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or next year. Not that it's wrong to long for something to happen, but to not let the longing overtake what might be happening in the now. There are many things I long for and I pray I never lose that longing, for that would be a tragedy. I long for silly things that really don't matter in the long run, but I mostly long to be with Him. Each day that passes, it is made ever clearer that truly, this is not my home. And there is such a deep longing in me that nothing in this world can fill, it only strengthens the knowledge that this really is not where I was made or meant to be. With such knowledge, it strengthens my resolve to not walk down the path of what "I want" because if He made me to ultimately be with Him and He knows me far better than I know myself, it would stand to reason that He knows far better what I desire and need than I do.

Yes, there are many things in my life that I tend to greatly long for. There are many times that I tend to cry out to Him, "Why is it taking so long?! Why must it take this long?? Why can't it just happen now?!" Are you getting the picture of a three year old little girl, stamping her foot, and demanding her questions be answered? :-) So often that is the image I see when I realize this is exactly what I'm doing. What a patient God we serve, who gently smiles at our tantrums and then picks us up, hugs us tight and whispers, "Allow Me to write your story, allow Me to lead you where you need to walk, and allow Me to give you My best in My time, and watch as Heaven is revealed to you on earth." Ah, the waiting is hard, so very hard, and many times painful, but I have learned that delayed gratification yields the greatest reward. And oh, how much more I treasure that which I've had to wait upon.

 There is something so beautiful about loving where I am in this moment. Of looking around and saying, "Yes, there are things I long for and want. However, I am so happy and content in Him, that if nothing ever changes in this life, I will be perfectly happy. For it is not the coming of said events that fulfills me, but Him. And because I'm living life with Him in this moment, I am truly fulfilled beyond all I've ever imagined."

Sitting here at this little table. listening to beautiful music, designing things I only ever dreamed of, sipping hot coffee and enjoying the sunshine, I can think of nothing else I would rather be doing in this moment.

Are you content today?